168 Months

          If there was a moment I could freeze in time, fourteen years ago would be it.  Lola is officially fourteen years old; it is her heavenly birthday. I went to bed imagining what life could have been for her and all of us. I am positive the world would have been a much better place. She left her mark, even in such a short time. Lola is my daily reminder of grace and kindness. We decided to do something fun for her day and JP and I walked the world at Epcot. We made sure to say Happy Birthday to each guest with a birthday button on. We found a dime. Encouraged and had fun speaking with a high school student about her quest to ride Soarin all day, everyone has a goal. The boys and I placed an angel at the garden with pink roses. They also did some random acts of kindness at school today for Lola. Her memory is alive, as these acts of kindness write her story. As a family we donated to the media center's new Maker Station in her memory. Lola is missed by so many. The messages we received made today a little brighter. We had someone trying to complete fourteen acts of kindness, gorgeous flowers sent to our home, and even a clipping of lilacs from a good friend who planted the tree after her miscarriage. It was a special day. Lola will never be gone; she is always in our hearts. 

Love,

The Mother of an Angel

167 Months

       Today my Facebook memory was "100 posts in Lola's blog." It stings to read that.  We are currently today at 167 blogs; I am not sure where the time goes. Things sure have changed. Every day is still another day without her, and every penny is still a sign from above.  I am not sure how much harder I could wish and pray that Lola was here. I can't even begin to imagine that life now because it seems so out of our grasp. Time does change things, but it doesn't heal. That is the truth of it all, you just learn to live with the cards you have been dealt. Pray one day you meet again...

Love,

The Mother of an Angel

166 Months

       I am embarrassed to admit that the 16th of this month flew past me. I woke up the next morning with a sinking feeling in my stomach, knowing that I had missed Lola's blog.  Life seemed to get the best of me that day...and then the mom guilt sets in. On the 16th, I still walked to the Celebration Memorial Garden in the morning and even looked at the cherubim angels nestled in the flowers thinking of Lola and my dad. Next month I will be back on track, hoping Lola forgives her mom this one time. She is always with me and in my thoughts no matter what

Love,

The Mother of an Angel

165 Months

        Another Mother's Day has passed, a time to celebrate all moms. They truly have one of the hardest jobs, sometimes I think they deserve a whole week and not just a day. Milo and I tossed a couple shiny pennies in the Epcot fountain on Mother's Day for Lola, making an extra special wish for her. I think I still struggle with the fact that to everyone who sees us in the world, I am just Milo and Finley's mom. You know the mom who walks with her boys to school every day, I get that a lot! I pray for Lola every night, look at her picture each morning, and always have her on my mind. Especially the "what ifs" and dreams... There are all different types of moms, and everyone has a story. My story is of a beautiful angel I held in my arms for such a short time, a fluffy sweet white dog, and the two amazing boys I am blessed with on earth.

Love,

The Mother of an Angel

164 Months

 It has been a month of what I like to call "Lola pennies!" It just makes my heart smile. A penny at a lunch date in Epcot, a penny on our last ride of the day with the Bell family to end their visit, two pennies on Easter for each of the boys, and a penny on Earth Day clean up at school. There has been even a few more than that, kind of amazing! That is why I like to say she is always with us, whether it be from a family day at Disney to a special holiday. I love those Lola pennies and reminders. She is our angel and never far from our hearts and minds.

 Love,

The Mother of an Angel

163 Months

        We saw the most beautiful rainbow following a light rain at the beach.  That single rainbow suddenly turned into a double rainbow. The colors were absolutely vibrant and filled the entire sky. It was the second time in my life I can clearly remember seeing a double rainbow. JP said it was a sign! Those are the moments when you are on a family vacation, and you are gently reminded of those who are missing. You wonder what this trip would have been like with them...what would have Lola liked to do. I will take that rainbow and beautiful sunrise as a small heavenly wink from her. She is always with us...

Love,

The Mother of an Angel

162 Months

 Tonight, our family headed to one of our favorite spots. We had great conversations with a retired couple on vacation as we all waited in a rather long line. Halfway through our que we had a magical moment, JP found a penny! It was perfect timing and a perfect reminder of how Lola is with us always, even at Disney waiting for a ride. I told Milo there is no better feeling than finding a penny on Lola's day. He just smiled....

Love Always,

The Mother of an Angel