31 Months

I hear the rain beating against the windows. Actually that's all I hear. It is very still and silent at our house tonight. The rain at night I think is somewhat enjoyable, it is heavenly to sleep to. I often wonder if rain could be all the angels crying in heaven, they must miss us too...

Sometimes at night I lay awake wondering what life would be like if Lola was here, those are the nights you toss and turn and don't get much sleep, you still wonder where things went so wrong. Even though so much time has passed, the feelings don't and won't. I'm still sensitive about so many things with Lola. Our life is in many ways like a book. You really have to ask the questions or read the story to know about us, because there is so much more to us than a husband, wife, a darling son, Milo and a cute dog. That's what you see on the cover. On the inside their is an angel and her story created our life or what life is now without her. It's the little things like the stranger in the grocery store, asking is he your only child...the list goes on. The things that pierce your heart but you just smile and go on. Because that's life. That's our life. Not everyone will know our story. That's something you learn to accept as an angel mom.

I cherish the times when family and friends talk about Lola, "auntie" sara still tells me on the 16th she will remember and never forget. So Lola knows, she has a fan club here on earth...so this rain must be tears of joy. The rain is still tapping on the windows...


love you lola!!!