108 Months

For the past nine years we have established so many traditions on Lola’s birthday. Today is the day we would have celebrated her ninth birthday. There are too many things we have missed to count or even to write about. Today was the day we were supposed to do our annual Lola birthday balloons, rose, and birthday letter. It’s just what we do every year, so when we couldn’t do the balloons all together, and threw the rose in the ocean as fast as we could. It felt like  our Lola tradition were broken. There are so many peaceful moments we have spent over the years at the ocean on her birthday and just sat watching the sun glisten on the waves. Here is where we would throw our rose in and let the balloons soar to the heavens. Whether we were in Carmel, Key West or Siesta Key, we always had our water spot.  So on a side note, the red tide is so bad at our beaches that our bodies could hardly function being there today and so ended our day at the beach.

When we got in the car I felt disappointed, teary and that we had ruined her tradition. It made me stop and think how things don’t always go the way we have planned or dreamed....just like with Lola. We had plans to raise our baby girl, bring her home, watch her grow....it didn’t happen that way. Her birthday balloons may not have made it out today and the ocean was far from peaceful and serene but in the grand scheme of things, I know it doesn’t matter. I know she knows we love her. We miss her and somehow we will get those balloons out as a family.

We still planned our donation and purchased a fence picket for Lola at children’s park being developed in Sheboygan. It is being made for handicapped children, and I couldn’t think of a better birthday gift for her this year.

With Lola’s special day coming to close, I know she was loved and is loved dearly. She is remembered and not forgotten. So until we meet again...happy birthday in heaven.

We love you Lola!

Love-
The Mother of an Angel