58 Months

Sometimes we just need to embrace what life hands us...

I was thinking of all the times we "dream" up these so called perfect plans  and how we would love to see things play out as we expect or wish.  Isn't it funny though how things do turn out in the end, we learn to handle situations, deal with disappointment and even grow as human beings. I guess that's life, it doesn't pay to stomp your feet rather flow with life's directions.

I've been "flowing" for 58 months, and boy does that number sound big! The only way I know how to flow with this current of Lola is to still talk about her- she's part of my heart and family forever. Like when I found 8 pennies after Milo's end of the school year party, I instantly told my friends walking with me, "Lola pennies" because that's me. When a friend addresses a card to your whole family and includes Lola, that makes you smile. I still sign Jp's birthday card with all his children's names, I teased him that was a lot of names!  I always tell people I have a girl and boy if they ask...It's the little everyday things to include her in. I know she's not here, I know people don't physically see me with a little girl walking around the island or at the park but she's in my heart and mind running in circles all day long. We are always together.

It's really the littlest things that sometimes make the biggest difference in angel parents...and for angel parents our plans didn't go as we expected. I'm going with that "flow," figuring out still what's my next path in this journey of loosing your  child. It's not the easiest but we are still growing in love and peace.

Lola's Mom