72 months

And here we are..it is Lola's sixth birthday. It is the same Sunday the 16th but nothing besides that remains the same. Its amazing how I can almost recall the exact sequence and events of that day, the day our family was to begin. How nothing turned out the way it was supposed to... how everything was out of our hands. Anger, sadness, worry, hurt, confused those just begin the emotions after you hear the news.  I woke up from surgery and awakened to my husband staring at me, his eyes said it all. My world stopped and I wanted it to be over. That's how it feels to be a mother of an angel.

If I am one hundred percent honest....I am surprised at how we are today. We are still a family. There is still Louie. There is Milo and now there is Finley and forever and always there is our angel Lola. I will never have the house full of Barbies or dolls.. My husband will never walk his daughter down the aisle.  And that's okay because it has to be... you have to learn to accept what you can't change. I dream out loud and work on changing things that make life better for all of us. I am so blessed with these two little boys and over the past Few months have seen their relationship blossom, sure to be best friends. I'm also positive Finley will be bossing Milo around and getting them into trouble 😉 It is pretty amazing. They make me smile, laugh until my tummy hurts and warm my soul with their charming personalities. I'm grateful to be Lola's mom as well, she makes me want to better and live for her and be the best mommy I can be.

We celebrated with six pink balloons and one pink rose. Milo drew a pig on his balloon to heaven, we are guessing the pink correlation? It made us smile. The balloons went off to heaven. The rose in the sparkling blue ocean. I watched it as someone turned around and took a picture of it. People walked past and looked. It was stunning with the sun shining on it, a lady picked it up, smiled and walked away with it. I kept thinking maybe she needed that, little does she know it was Lola's rose. A treasure.

We donated back packs to hope kids, a charity in Sarasota that helps get kids ready for back to school. We had such a great time picking out all the different character backpacks from doc mc stuffing to paw patrol. Milo was convinced we were tossing them in the sky so they could make it to heaven for Lola and her friends.

I appreciate the cards, notes and every Lola day encouragement we receive. From an angel, to pink lipstick, a prism and money for backpacks-thank you...

May everyday be the best day.

Happy Birthday Lola

Your Mom forever and always