41 months

It is my 16th of the month ritual to write my angel thoughts down in this blog for Lola. It's important, very important and just minutes ago a message kept appearing saying "blogger is having technical difficulties." I may have had a mini panic attack. Thoughts raced through my head that what, just what if I couldn't post today for her. It has in fact become my motherly duty of an angel to do this each month on the exact day she would be 41 months. It made me realize just how important this little blog is to me. It has become my conversation with Lola. It is my way of dealing with this emotional roller coaster. It is my way to grieve, to smile and be angry all at once. The blog is a way for me to remember and continue her legacy. Also my way to show off our little angel, she really has shaped us into the best parents we could ever be...and we are still learning and growing with her by our sides. I know it wouldn't have been the end of the world to blog on the 17th or even the 18th for that... But it has become our tradition. I like to think my little inspiration is smiling down on me or maybe she's reading over my shoulder as I type, maybe she looks forward to these blogging moments too. We can only imagine and dream. Good Night Lola... So glad we could talk tonight. Happy 41 months!!!!!!!