It is almost Christmas...the tree is up. 42 glorious angels hang on our tree. The white lights sparkle in the night. The hints of gold shimmer and radiate during the day. It is a beautiful tree, Lola would love it.I look forward to new additions this year. Those are my favorite gifts, as well as Lola's!
Our nightly prayers and hellos to Lola are such an important part of my life and daily routine. It is that moment, that I truly believe we share together, every 365 days of the year. I will never forget.
The next couple months are going to be very exciting for us...Lola's story will be shared with thousands!!! I look forward to sharing more about our process, healing in a way. The final product I hope to be amazing.
Everytime a bell rings an angel gets their wings.....think of Lola the next time you hear one this Christmas season.
Love.
Lola's Mom
Friday, December 16, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
27 months
It is hard to believe the holiday season is upon us already...hard to believe it is 27 months for Lola. The holidays aren't quite how they used to be. There still is the spirit of Christmas, but it is a time also where we miss even more the ones we love that are in heaven. Though I constantly have to remind myself that Lola is with us, just not the way we want her to be. That is the hardest part about this otherwise joyous season.
I look forward to putting up our angel tree. I love hearing the Christmas carols with the word angels in it. I enjoy seeing angels in store displays.
It will be fun to find our special angel ornament for 2011, I already have my eye on one!!!
We miss Lola so much....we pray for her everynight and extra special prayers always on the 16th. I always ask God to give her extra hugs on this day.
Much Love.
I look forward to putting up our angel tree. I love hearing the Christmas carols with the word angels in it. I enjoy seeing angels in store displays.
It will be fun to find our special angel ornament for 2011, I already have my eye on one!!!
We miss Lola so much....we pray for her everynight and extra special prayers always on the 16th. I always ask God to give her extra hugs on this day.
Much Love.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
26 Months
Yesterday was International Wave of Light Ceremony, hard to believe this was the third time we participated in this candle lighting for Lola. When we lit our candle I thought how amazing it was that for 24 hours, around the world candles were lit for our angels. The magic in candle is captivating. It is light in the darkness. A warmness in it's glow. I think angels have a light about them....
Whenever I look at Lola's picture I see so much beauty, peacefullness and that glow about her picture. She is simply gorgeous. She is a wonderful guardian angel to our whole family, especially little Milo. Sometimes I think Milo's joyfullness comes from Lola, one thing she sure has taught him is to love life. That is what she taught me...no matter what storms that come our way, live in the moment, treasure it always.
Happy to report Lola's pink rose bush is doing well. We were even able to cut some roses and place them by her picture last week. Warms my heart.
26 months later, Lola is with us everyday....light of our life.
Whenever I look at Lola's picture I see so much beauty, peacefullness and that glow about her picture. She is simply gorgeous. She is a wonderful guardian angel to our whole family, especially little Milo. Sometimes I think Milo's joyfullness comes from Lola, one thing she sure has taught him is to love life. That is what she taught me...no matter what storms that come our way, live in the moment, treasure it always.
Happy to report Lola's pink rose bush is doing well. We were even able to cut some roses and place them by her picture last week. Warms my heart.
26 months later, Lola is with us everyday....light of our life.
Friday, September 16, 2011
25 Months
It was kind of a dreary day here in Nor Cal, seems like the fog is never ending. We had a glimpse of sunshine today, one hour approximately. It must have been Lola sharing a little bit of heaven with us. I bet her days are full of adundant sunshine and pure joy, it is a nice thought. It sounds like the perfect spot to be. Heaven is really the unknown, the only guide we have to what it would be like is the Bible. So I think it is fair to let the imagination run wild with it...glorious, happiness, love, light, pureness, warm fuzzies...that is what it must be like for Lola.
Not a day goes by when we don't think of her. In fact a basket in Milo's room still is labeled, "LOLA" Hmmmmmmm, I could not possibly change it but only smile everyday when Milo grabs it to dump out all his toys. Little ways that Lola is part of our everyday.
One of our devotions this month spoke about Loss..it reminded us to think of all the blessings we have and how we loved Lola so much when she was with us. She was ready to be with God, and it should be our sense of peace... even though we miss her so.
Happy Day to Lola.
Not a day goes by when we don't think of her. In fact a basket in Milo's room still is labeled, "LOLA" Hmmmmmmm, I could not possibly change it but only smile everyday when Milo grabs it to dump out all his toys. Little ways that Lola is part of our everyday.
One of our devotions this month spoke about Loss..it reminded us to think of all the blessings we have and how we loved Lola so much when she was with us. She was ready to be with God, and it should be our sense of peace... even though we miss her so.
Happy Day to Lola.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Happy Birthday Lola~
Happy 2nd Birthday Lola!!!!!
I can't believe the day has come and gone already...replaying in my head a million times over holding her for the first time and too quickly having to say good bye. I can close my eyes and imagine our family. Louie, Lola and Milo all playing together, the best smiles, giggling..rolling on the floor, while lou of course would give them the occasional barks!Lola blowing out her candles on her cake and all of us singing and clapping along. What a wonderful world that would be...
2 years of saying hello to Lola everyday and endless nights of prayers. I just want some reassurance that she is okay...so I pray about it. I hope someone is there to cuddle her, hug her when she falls, and wipe away her tears when she misses her mom and dad. God only knows how much we miss her.
For her birthday we wanted her to know how much she means to us, she is never forgotten and I think we have started some Lola Bday traditions!!!
2 birthday balloons sent direct to heaven (one day delivery of course) to Lola filled with wishes.
2 Pink roses. One sent off in the deep blue ocean waters by her Daddy and One left at the church in Carmel.
A box full of the brighest crayons, fun colored pencils, endless notebooks, colorful erasers, rulers, folders and highliters for the LIFE after school tutoring program in Salinas. I think the "life" program was perfectly fitting for this celebration.
a beautiful pink rose bush planted in our backyard..I think our daily chats will happen here. JP planted it with such love. I can only imagine it will be a special spot for him also.
An of course, writing our birthday letters to Lola, one of my most favorite things. It is so emotional but healing. Each letter is placed in her angel book.
It was special to be together on this day.
We visited the most beautiful church also on Lola's day. We were meant to be there. Beautiful gardens, we found an angel statue hiding in the greens. Walking up the stairs to enter the church, you get a feeling this place is somewhat magical. It was just the 3 of us there. Then you look up and the mural in the sancturary is breathtaking. Cheribum Angels surrounding 2 women holding a baby...we were meant to be there. This is where we were to celebrate Lola's birthday. I just felt like in some sense she was there with us. It warms my heart just thinking about it.
There is never enough I could say about all the feelings and emotions that are wrapped up into her day. JP put it best in his letter to her...we miss you so much and we can only imagine how fun it is to dance in the clouds. We can't wait to dance in the clouds someday all together!
Love to Lola, Our angel, Our baby girl....
happy birthday!
I can't believe the day has come and gone already...replaying in my head a million times over holding her for the first time and too quickly having to say good bye. I can close my eyes and imagine our family. Louie, Lola and Milo all playing together, the best smiles, giggling..rolling on the floor, while lou of course would give them the occasional barks!Lola blowing out her candles on her cake and all of us singing and clapping along. What a wonderful world that would be...
2 years of saying hello to Lola everyday and endless nights of prayers. I just want some reassurance that she is okay...so I pray about it. I hope someone is there to cuddle her, hug her when she falls, and wipe away her tears when she misses her mom and dad. God only knows how much we miss her.
For her birthday we wanted her to know how much she means to us, she is never forgotten and I think we have started some Lola Bday traditions!!!
2 birthday balloons sent direct to heaven (one day delivery of course) to Lola filled with wishes.
2 Pink roses. One sent off in the deep blue ocean waters by her Daddy and One left at the church in Carmel.
A box full of the brighest crayons, fun colored pencils, endless notebooks, colorful erasers, rulers, folders and highliters for the LIFE after school tutoring program in Salinas. I think the "life" program was perfectly fitting for this celebration.
a beautiful pink rose bush planted in our backyard..I think our daily chats will happen here. JP planted it with such love. I can only imagine it will be a special spot for him also.
An of course, writing our birthday letters to Lola, one of my most favorite things. It is so emotional but healing. Each letter is placed in her angel book.
It was special to be together on this day.
We visited the most beautiful church also on Lola's day. We were meant to be there. Beautiful gardens, we found an angel statue hiding in the greens. Walking up the stairs to enter the church, you get a feeling this place is somewhat magical. It was just the 3 of us there. Then you look up and the mural in the sancturary is breathtaking. Cheribum Angels surrounding 2 women holding a baby...we were meant to be there. This is where we were to celebrate Lola's birthday. I just felt like in some sense she was there with us. It warms my heart just thinking about it.
There is never enough I could say about all the feelings and emotions that are wrapped up into her day. JP put it best in his letter to her...we miss you so much and we can only imagine how fun it is to dance in the clouds. We can't wait to dance in the clouds someday all together!
Love to Lola, Our angel, Our baby girl....
happy birthday!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
23 Months
One month away from the big 2 for Lola...just seems so unreal. This month marked 2 years since we have moved out to California, all those hopes and dreams we had then for her.Pregnant and moving, a crazy Mom I was! All the excitement, getting her "second" nursery ready...only for everything to turn into our worst nightmire. I always, and will always wonder if things would have been different if we would have never made the venture out here, probably why California will never be home for us.....
Grandma Jean or as Milo calls her "nana" :) is here to visit us, she made a cake for Lola today. She made the same exact one week before Lola's due date calling it her pre-birthday arrival cake...we all enjoyed our piece, it brings back a lot of memories. It is like if I close my eyes I can picture it all, I vividly remember the last night I spent with Lola kicking in my belly. Watching a movie with JP, curled up on the tan couch and even talking to his dear friend John Leis about his new baby, and how Landon and Lola would be great buddies! It is weird how one moment can be filled with so much happiness and the next it is gone.
I guess that is why we hold on to those memories so tight, they make you feel warm and fuzzy for a moment in time...
I will remember those fun itty kicks Lo.....
Happy Day Lola!
Grandma Jean or as Milo calls her "nana" :) is here to visit us, she made a cake for Lola today. She made the same exact one week before Lola's due date calling it her pre-birthday arrival cake...we all enjoyed our piece, it brings back a lot of memories. It is like if I close my eyes I can picture it all, I vividly remember the last night I spent with Lola kicking in my belly. Watching a movie with JP, curled up on the tan couch and even talking to his dear friend John Leis about his new baby, and how Landon and Lola would be great buddies! It is weird how one moment can be filled with so much happiness and the next it is gone.
I guess that is why we hold on to those memories so tight, they make you feel warm and fuzzy for a moment in time...
I will remember those fun itty kicks Lo.....
Happy Day Lola!
Thursday, June 16, 2011
22 Months...
Make yourself familiar with angels, and behold them frequently in spirit;for without being seen, they are present with you.
I always feel like somehow Lola makes her presence felt with us...or else we are out there looking for it. On our wedding anniversary we spent the day at the aquarium, a little lunch and then we headed back to our car. Right as we approached it, I spotted a penny...I was SO excited! I yelled out to JP and he found 2 other ones, one penny for each of us. I remember looking up at the sky and saying thanks to little Lola. I am not sure anniversary presents get better than that! It also made me feel complete for a second in time, though to many we look like a family of 3, we are and always will be a family of 4. ( well 4.5 counting Lou Dog!) I am blessed with one angel here on earth and one angel in heaven.Sometimes I even sign cards with all of our names.
I already have the 2 year anniversay anxiety. So much has changed, so many dreams were lost, some regained...we hit the lowest and the highest peak. With I suspect many more mountains in life to climb, and someone up above to guide the way.
22 Months Baby Girl!
Hugs and Kisses!
Mom
I always feel like somehow Lola makes her presence felt with us...or else we are out there looking for it. On our wedding anniversary we spent the day at the aquarium, a little lunch and then we headed back to our car. Right as we approached it, I spotted a penny...I was SO excited! I yelled out to JP and he found 2 other ones, one penny for each of us. I remember looking up at the sky and saying thanks to little Lola. I am not sure anniversary presents get better than that! It also made me feel complete for a second in time, though to many we look like a family of 3, we are and always will be a family of 4. ( well 4.5 counting Lou Dog!) I am blessed with one angel here on earth and one angel in heaven.Sometimes I even sign cards with all of our names.
I already have the 2 year anniversay anxiety. So much has changed, so many dreams were lost, some regained...we hit the lowest and the highest peak. With I suspect many more mountains in life to climb, and someone up above to guide the way.
22 Months Baby Girl!
Hugs and Kisses!
Mom
Monday, May 16, 2011
21 Months
The number keeps on getting higher and higher...
Tonight I turned on a small silver lamp in our hallway...it seems to really illuminate the tiny area of our upstairs built-in. Directly below this lamp, graces pictures of Lola and her beautiful footprints. "Lola, In our hearts forever." In our hearts, in our daily thoughts, in the beauty of nature...whatever sparks your mind of her. The light just seemed to shine a little brighter tonight...
There are so many things that are Lola to me...when the sun glares of the ocean waters, a color butterfly, a rainbow, a glowing star, songs/music/lyrics, pennies. It is so important to take those moments in, those are the "L-moments."
Milo played with a little girl exactly Lola's age at birthday party we attended a couple weeks back. It was such a surreal moment for me, in a perfect world that would be our life, perfect family...kids playing together. Though she can't be with us here on earth, I do believe she is always watching over us from heaven. Maybe she sings with us at night before mi's bed time....twinkle twinkle little star...
Sweet Dreams.
Tonight I turned on a small silver lamp in our hallway...it seems to really illuminate the tiny area of our upstairs built-in. Directly below this lamp, graces pictures of Lola and her beautiful footprints. "Lola, In our hearts forever." In our hearts, in our daily thoughts, in the beauty of nature...whatever sparks your mind of her. The light just seemed to shine a little brighter tonight...
There are so many things that are Lola to me...when the sun glares of the ocean waters, a color butterfly, a rainbow, a glowing star, songs/music/lyrics, pennies. It is so important to take those moments in, those are the "L-moments."
Milo played with a little girl exactly Lola's age at birthday party we attended a couple weeks back. It was such a surreal moment for me, in a perfect world that would be our life, perfect family...kids playing together. Though she can't be with us here on earth, I do believe she is always watching over us from heaven. Maybe she sings with us at night before mi's bed time....twinkle twinkle little star...
Sweet Dreams.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
20 Months...
What does loss mean....???
I thought this to myself tonight. Loss takes place in so many shapes and forms. Loss of Love, Loss of a house, Loss of a pet, Loss of your child...to each person their loss is the greatest of all. All losses hurt, though most mend themselves, well others will never be fixed.
To me, my devastation in life is the death of Lola. It feels not right, like how could this be part of the "plan"? As I read in our Easter Devotional from our church..."Parents aren't supposed to outlive their children." Hopelessness....
JP and I were blessed to spend the night today with a very special couple. The day after Thanksgiving, their 2.5 year old son passed away from a brain ainurism...one moment he was playing in the meadow and the next he tragically fainted in their living room. My heart hurts for this family and it was very healing for both of us to sit and just talk and talk about all the what ifs and buts....but also for the peace we have all accepted with our situations. They are beautiful people and I will cherish how they shared their little one with us. We saw pictures, videos...it is amazing how as we "grow" with what our lives have dealt us, we somehow learn to cope. I guess God gives us that hope back....
Elvira shared with me a letter she sent to all her friends and family...which read " We believe God sends friends as a blessing in times like these. You are holding us in your hands, helping us going through this sorrow." I don't think I could put it any better....
So for anyone that is dealing with a loss of any kind, if you look around and deep in your heart you will see all the love that surrounds you by the people that we call family and friends.....
August 16, 2009 changed my world forever. Saying Good Bye is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but I know that Lola is a beautiful angel in heaven and thanks all the people that "held" her mom and dads hands during their journey of healing....which is never ending
I thought this to myself tonight. Loss takes place in so many shapes and forms. Loss of Love, Loss of a house, Loss of a pet, Loss of your child...to each person their loss is the greatest of all. All losses hurt, though most mend themselves, well others will never be fixed.
To me, my devastation in life is the death of Lola. It feels not right, like how could this be part of the "plan"? As I read in our Easter Devotional from our church..."Parents aren't supposed to outlive their children." Hopelessness....
JP and I were blessed to spend the night today with a very special couple. The day after Thanksgiving, their 2.5 year old son passed away from a brain ainurism...one moment he was playing in the meadow and the next he tragically fainted in their living room. My heart hurts for this family and it was very healing for both of us to sit and just talk and talk about all the what ifs and buts....but also for the peace we have all accepted with our situations. They are beautiful people and I will cherish how they shared their little one with us. We saw pictures, videos...it is amazing how as we "grow" with what our lives have dealt us, we somehow learn to cope. I guess God gives us that hope back....
Elvira shared with me a letter she sent to all her friends and family...which read " We believe God sends friends as a blessing in times like these. You are holding us in your hands, helping us going through this sorrow." I don't think I could put it any better....
So for anyone that is dealing with a loss of any kind, if you look around and deep in your heart you will see all the love that surrounds you by the people that we call family and friends.....
August 16, 2009 changed my world forever. Saying Good Bye is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but I know that Lola is a beautiful angel in heaven and thanks all the people that "held" her mom and dads hands during their journey of healing....which is never ending
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
19 Months...
Every month I can't believe how this number grows and grows...and many questions run back and forth through my head. Today I had my Lola moment, as milo and I drove in the car to Pacific Grove for his play group. I sobbed the whole way there as I was peeking at little Milo's face in his play mirror. There is always something about that drive to PG that makes me squirm or maybe it reminds me of how "dark" our lives were. It is a place I never want to go, but then again to say sadness doesn't gloom over lives would be an understatement because the sadness and emptiness is always there. To be honest, it just stinks....it is like the broken heart that can never be cured.
On this day, I know I hug Milo a little tighter and remind Louie and Milo of Lola, we talk about how beautiful she is and how she is watching over them in heaven. Actually I read a book. that says when you need an angel in your life you just need to whisper their name and they will be there...Milo will have the best BIG sister angel ever.
19 Months better be a big celebration in heaven....Happy Day to you Lola!
On this day, I know I hug Milo a little tighter and remind Louie and Milo of Lola, we talk about how beautiful she is and how she is watching over them in heaven. Actually I read a book. that says when you need an angel in your life you just need to whisper their name and they will be there...Milo will have the best BIG sister angel ever.
19 Months better be a big celebration in heaven....Happy Day to you Lola!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
18 Months and a Rainy Day....
I guess when it rains, it pours...that is our weather here today. But with rain, comes rainbows and that is exactly what JP saw today, 2 of them!!! I find rainbows so amazing, their colors are so vibrant, you never see the "real" end of them, and they possess almost a type of magic to them. Mystical like an angel. Yes, I think pennies and rainbows are signs from Lola. They are those little glimmers of hope or maybe the twinkle we would see in her eyes.
I often look at Milo and wonder what features I can pick up on him from Lola. I can't help but think of all the milestones we reach with him, the first smile, gigglea and think of all the things we missed out on with Lola. The things that make you a mother of an angel, I guess we let our imaginations run wild. Milo was baptised last week. It was so beautiful and even more special that it was held in the church garden, right next to the angel fountain. It was like she was right there with us, I know she was. We lit her a beautiful candle, said a prayer and celebrated Milo's moment, as a family. Always keeping her memory alive...
On another note, our orchad from Lola's passing is not blooming, it the first time in 18 months when there is not a flower on it or a bud in progress. It makes me sad but I am hoping it will turn around. :) Amazing, how a flower can represnt so much and become so special...it blooms WHITE flowers.
To Lola- We Miss and Love You!
Dad, Mom, Milo and Louie
I often look at Milo and wonder what features I can pick up on him from Lola. I can't help but think of all the milestones we reach with him, the first smile, gigglea and think of all the things we missed out on with Lola. The things that make you a mother of an angel, I guess we let our imaginations run wild. Milo was baptised last week. It was so beautiful and even more special that it was held in the church garden, right next to the angel fountain. It was like she was right there with us, I know she was. We lit her a beautiful candle, said a prayer and celebrated Milo's moment, as a family. Always keeping her memory alive...
On another note, our orchad from Lola's passing is not blooming, it the first time in 18 months when there is not a flower on it or a bud in progress. It makes me sad but I am hoping it will turn around. :) Amazing, how a flower can represnt so much and become so special...it blooms WHITE flowers.
To Lola- We Miss and Love You!
Dad, Mom, Milo and Louie
Sunday, January 16, 2011
17 months....
Just typing that, it seems like 17 is such a big number but 17 months is just a small fraction of a babies life. Could you imagine where we would be with Lola at that point? Pigtails, Dolls, and Lolipops...that would be my guess. I bet heavenly angels have all those things and more! And here we are 17 months later, amazing how your life changes and no matter how blessed we feel, I can honestly say that not a day goes by where there are not tears in my eyes for Lola or just a sad face accompianed with that "lump" in your throat. That sadness just never fades away.
As I talk about numbers, here we are in a new year, its 2011. I thought about the past years....
2009-2010-year of healing
2010 (the end) - year of hope
2011-year of moving ahead
We did have some amazing Lola moments, as I like to call them that ended and started the new year. To good not to share, ones that make you smile when you think of them and stay with you in a good way. Those are great LOLA days.
Our angel tree (new name for our christmas tree) was so beautiful this year and we love the angel ornament gifts we receive. They are my favorite presents, filled with love and light. I carefully chose our Lola ornament this year, a little angel with sparkling gold on it!!! I then recieved the SAME EXACT angel from my best friend back in Wisconsin...I thought what are the chances of that happening. It was so special and I thought how neat every year when we unpack those 2 identical angels I will always think of that special moment. I also received an angel from my Grandparents, that said " Everytime a Bell rings an angel gets its wings."
What a Christmas classic and I do think of Lola everytime I hear a bell duing the holiday season. On Christmas Eve we opened our presents, and here again was this SAME angel wrapped up from my Dad. I don't think I spoke for a moment, I was so taken back. I knew Lola had sent us a Christmas message of Love, it just made me feel like for that one moment she was truly with us, she had it all planned. I don't think this could ever happen again or would I have ever dreamed it, kind of like a Christmas miracle.
Lola Moment Number 2.....
We were at Milo's 2 month check up appointment, when our pediatricain...Dr. Jill stopped and said....can I ask you something personal??? I remember thinking, what am I doing wrong.....and she proceeded by asking how it is with Milo after losing a child? I remember thinking for a moment, possibly more grateful, more cautious, more worried. Jp chimed in by saying now he feels he can breath again, like Milo will be okay. She then went on to say that 3 years ago on Christmas day a family here in Monterey lost their child to vasa previa and velementous insertion. I had heard of the story from a nurse in the hospital when we donated lola caps for the nursery....She went on to say that it is so rare and they cannot believe they have had 2 cases of it here. They were discussing our cases recently and she wanted to tell us, that they also go to the same pediatric office and have gone on to have 2 children. She thought maybe we could talk and she was going to pass on my information to their Dr. For a moment, I thought how crazy it was that out of all the pediatric doctors to choose from, we chose the same practice for our other children. So I hope she may call or email....but I know how painful it can be. After this appointment I think I cried for 2 days in a row. It is okay though, I like when people mention her name and want to hear her story. Milo that day received his shots. Dr. Jill carefully placed a butterfly bandage on one and a racetrack bandage on the other....a butterfly I thought, that is the symbol of infant death. Oh Lola! Then we got in the car to head home and as the radio came on, it hummed the song of a Wonderful World. Lola's Song.....these are the beautiful moments.
Angels speak to us, they really do!
As I talk about numbers, here we are in a new year, its 2011. I thought about the past years....
2009-2010-year of healing
2010 (the end) - year of hope
2011-year of moving ahead
We did have some amazing Lola moments, as I like to call them that ended and started the new year. To good not to share, ones that make you smile when you think of them and stay with you in a good way. Those are great LOLA days.
Our angel tree (new name for our christmas tree) was so beautiful this year and we love the angel ornament gifts we receive. They are my favorite presents, filled with love and light. I carefully chose our Lola ornament this year, a little angel with sparkling gold on it!!! I then recieved the SAME EXACT angel from my best friend back in Wisconsin...I thought what are the chances of that happening. It was so special and I thought how neat every year when we unpack those 2 identical angels I will always think of that special moment. I also received an angel from my Grandparents, that said " Everytime a Bell rings an angel gets its wings."
What a Christmas classic and I do think of Lola everytime I hear a bell duing the holiday season. On Christmas Eve we opened our presents, and here again was this SAME angel wrapped up from my Dad. I don't think I spoke for a moment, I was so taken back. I knew Lola had sent us a Christmas message of Love, it just made me feel like for that one moment she was truly with us, she had it all planned. I don't think this could ever happen again or would I have ever dreamed it, kind of like a Christmas miracle.
Lola Moment Number 2.....
We were at Milo's 2 month check up appointment, when our pediatricain...Dr. Jill stopped and said....can I ask you something personal??? I remember thinking, what am I doing wrong.....and she proceeded by asking how it is with Milo after losing a child? I remember thinking for a moment, possibly more grateful, more cautious, more worried. Jp chimed in by saying now he feels he can breath again, like Milo will be okay. She then went on to say that 3 years ago on Christmas day a family here in Monterey lost their child to vasa previa and velementous insertion. I had heard of the story from a nurse in the hospital when we donated lola caps for the nursery....She went on to say that it is so rare and they cannot believe they have had 2 cases of it here. They were discussing our cases recently and she wanted to tell us, that they also go to the same pediatric office and have gone on to have 2 children. She thought maybe we could talk and she was going to pass on my information to their Dr. For a moment, I thought how crazy it was that out of all the pediatric doctors to choose from, we chose the same practice for our other children. So I hope she may call or email....but I know how painful it can be. After this appointment I think I cried for 2 days in a row. It is okay though, I like when people mention her name and want to hear her story. Milo that day received his shots. Dr. Jill carefully placed a butterfly bandage on one and a racetrack bandage on the other....a butterfly I thought, that is the symbol of infant death. Oh Lola! Then we got in the car to head home and as the radio came on, it hummed the song of a Wonderful World. Lola's Song.....these are the beautiful moments.
Angels speak to us, they really do!
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