47 Months

It's hard to believe that in exactly one month from today Lola will be 4...instead of party planning or picking out the perfect gift, I'm left thinking what and where we will or can donate something that would make her proud and that she be remembered by. It is on the top of my list. To me it seems a little distant not to be in Carmel, a little out of sorts. It has most definitely been a year of change so another change we will adapt to. I thought today about a special visit during my trip to Sheboygan. To my grandfathers grave. My family keeps it very beautiful with garden flowers adorning it, little love and angel statues and Milo's newest addition of a pinwheel. Aren't cemeteries the most interesting places, at least I think that....Some graves kept up, others not, some stones are freshly engraved, others so old you can barley make out the wording. It makes you wonder what everyone that lays there story is. Right across from my grandpas grave, is the children section. In most cases not even children, but babies that have a name and one date. Just like Lola. I found myself strolling down the way reading each name carefully, each date. Loving daughter, forever missed, in our hearts forever...I guess I'm not so alone. i was so sad for all those babies and their families. My Mom thinks it is very neat someone took the time to build these white little picket fences with bible verses on them at many of the infant's graves. They are not forgotten. Their mom's would smile. We never buried Lola. JP says the first one who passes should be buried with her ashes. I like that choice. JP found a penny today and then saw a rainbow. Double the Lola signs. It's nice as we move forward into a sad month for us... Lola Grace Doepke August 16, 2009