Weekends..

Weekends are extra special hard at our house...well almost like everyother day.  We force ourselves to do things, explore our new city, while we both stare at eachother and say, I really don't feel like doing anything today." Lola was born on a Sunday morning, 3:36am to be exact...and weekends for me are so hard because those are the last memories that we have with her in my tummy. The last time I can honestly say that I was happy.  For now we just go through the rountine of everyday life, just trying to make it through the days...knowing that things will never be the same or I will never be the same. I believe loosing Lola has shaped our lives and will define who we are. I long for the day where I will enjoy the simple things  in life like the sunshine beating on your face...

I often wonder what is going on to the person next to us, because you never know..maybe they lost the love of their life, maybe a sibling, they are going through a tough time with the economy or maybe they are just lonely. Everyone has a story...on Saturday we went to Toasties for breakfast and across the way from us a girl my age sat and cried the whole time they were there. I caught myself staring at her, wondering what was wrong...and I just wanted to go up to her and giver her a hug. Tell her whatever it is it would be okay...the thing is no one can tell you that is will be okay b/c maybe for them it never will be. I never gave her a hug but I said a little prayer for her..just wanted to see her sadness go away.