Ounce of Happiness...

Yesterday I watched one of those Hallmark Movies- admit it you've all watched them before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I am not the only one...it was called Bound by Secret, I caught it about half way through. The movie had a great line that I thought a lot about last night...."an ounce of happiness is worth every ounce of sadness." WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So true......I had 9 months, well 40 weeks and 3 hours to be exact with Lola and it was more happiness than I can ever remember. (well the first three months were a little rough with that dreaded morning sickness, that is not just morning let me tell you!)

Happiness Moments:
The first sonogram, finding out we were pregnant and be able to be in Wisconsin to share it with the people that mean the most to us in the whole world,  picking out names, planning and shopping for her, daily visits from my neighbors checking on me and all the goodies Lola had recieved, the beautiful baby showers, putting together the nursery not once but twice!, the first kick and all the kicks to follow (sometimes punches), visits from her grandparents to be and from one of my best friends (ahhh seaworld!), many many trips to babies r us/pottery barn kids, monthly tummy pics, finding out she was a girl, sitting and watching the brewers endless weekends and weeknights with my husband and lou (with lo in the tummy) b.c it was too hot to be outside, jp always resting his hand on my stomach, every doctor visit, moving to California,.....every moment of dreaming our lives with her and starting our family. Sometimes I would sit for hours and smile wondering who she was going to look like....well, we all know she is a mini- jp with a kim nose! Meeting her is a combination of one of the greatest and most tragic things in my life. Seeing your child and knowing that she has already gone to heaven...I held her and kissed her on the forehead...she was so precious.  Knowing it was also the last time I would hold her was also one of those combinations, so much happiness to be with her and so much sadness to let her go....

Even though there has been so much sadness in our life since she has passed, it is true every ounce of happiness she brought into my life is worth the sadness. I hope maybe you can close your eyes and think of one moment of hapiness she has brought you, maybe it was a picture or picking out a special gift for her....I know they are there!