I have dreaded today more than anyother month so far...not that it is any worse the others but maybe because it marks a half way point. I'm not sure....it sure brings you right back to the place where you started. To many people this is just any other day, mark it off on the calendar. But to me the 16th of each month represents my world turning upside down, losing one of the most precious things in the world to me. Lola's death is my life. Sure, I may have learned a little bit better on how to deal with my grief but it's still there everyday and I never expect it to go away. There will always be a hole in my heart for her, that incomplete piece.
My tears have stopped me in my tracks, her picture stares at me. I have replayed the day before her death a million times today. I have replayed the moment of hearing your child died a million times more. And then I think of her how cute she was, the softness of her skin, her cute little nose and realize,
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away."
That will forever be my moment.
Lola Grace Doepke
Sunday -08-16-09- 3:36 am
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