The other day the news came on and it brought me to complete tears. After Lola has passed, I know I have definetly become more sensitive and emotional, one thing can trigger a million emotions. The headlining story was about two teenagers that died in a car crash, my first thought is it so unfair, those young souls. As the story went on they talked about where this was also the spot where a 4 year old boy had also been killed in a car crash back in Septemeber. They mentioned no names BUT I know. I have met that family. I have exhanged hugs. I have seen pictures of their son playing with his toys, smiling...being a kid. We have shared our children together. Our sadness......
It reminded me how we often hear story or watch the news and then carry on with life. Because they are just another story, another tragedy...pretty unfair. I often think that people think JP and I are just back to normal...I am not sure normal will ever be the case. But we do go on, but never EVER forget.
I remember getting the first baby announcement in the mail and pictures emailed of the brand new baby just not even a couple months after Lola died. At the time I was so angry, how could anyone be so insensitive I thought. I know JP looked at me with tears when he finished looking at those pictures, we didn't talk for hours. Now as I sit back and reflect....realizing that for others life just goes on. That is part of loosing a child is learning somehow, somewhere to accept the reality that the sun will rise and the sun will set. Things will happen that are beyound our control.......
I guess my whole point is, when I watched the news I was so touched.........it hit home. I listen to friends, even family complain about things in their life they are so unhappy with. Then I hear stories like the two teenagers and the four year old hit by the drunk driver. I can put a face with the story but there is nothing we can do to change those things BUT you can change the controllables in life. Maybe it makes no sense, but I guess don't sweat the small stuff.....in the end it doesn't matter anyways.
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That is what I tell Jay all the time... don't sweat the small stuff. I hope she carries that with her! love you girl.
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