198 Months

Sometimes I really can’t believe how fast the months (or even the days) go by. I feel like I blinked and Valentine’s Day was already here and gone.

Even though my boys aren’t little anymore, I still pull out all the decorations and the fun Valentine’s things from when they were. The I ♥ You placemats, the heart banner, the doilies… and yes, the pink rubber duckies everywhere because there always has to be lots of pink for Lola. 

Truthfully, I might love it more than they do now. But I always catch myself imagining what it would be like if Lola were here helping me with all the little things. She might even be at the age where she’d have her own Valentine!

This week we are spreading a little Valentine kindness and Lola love by treating a young lady to get her hair done for a special dance. Her family is living in hotels right now, and when I heard about the dress and shoes she wanted, I thought… I bet she’s never even been to a fancy salon before.

I can’t wait for her to have that moment and to feel special and maybe even a little like a princess. It’s such a simple thing, but sometimes the little things mean everything.

Thinking of how it would’ve been to get Lola’s hair done too....

Love,
A Mother of an Angel

197 Months

 It is the start of a new year, which I suppose means new beginnings. I have a few resolutions this year. One of them, though it may sound selfish is to fill my own cup with joy.

Over the last sixteen years, the spark of everything has somewhat faded with loss. The loss of Lola was the beginning of what feels like a never ending path of grief. I find so much happiness in giving to others and serving, especially in memory of Lola, don’t get me wrong. But I think I realized by the end of this year that I was completely burned out. The holidays never help. They are the time when we miss those we have lost the most.

I am beyond grateful for the couple of weeks I spent with family during the break and for the chance to recharge. I was especially thankful for the quiet time to sit by Lola’s angel tree and simply be... I cleaned out a couple of drawers, finding Lola things, and organizing items in my angel book for her. I can’t tell you how happy that made me. Such a small thing, but it filled my heart right up. Like she was proud of me...

So now, every day, I am trying to ask myself: What did I do to fill my cup and others’ today?
That is my 2026 challenge to myself… that, and finding 100 pennies from heaven.

With love,
The Mother of an Angel